


His Hands

by d-ama-ien (ama_janee)



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other, POV First Person, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ama_janee/pseuds/d-ama-ien
Summary: "I know that Dark is Damien- I don't know how much of him carried over, but I knew, Iknowthat he is in there somewhere. It's harder to tell myself that when I face Dark, seeing so little of Damien's warmth."Y/N reminisces on their relationship with Damien, and tries to find some sign of their former lover in Darkiplier.
Relationships: Damien | The Mayor/Y/N | The District Attorney (Who Killed Markiplier?), Darkiplier/Y/N
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	His Hands

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is loosely inspired by a song called Hands by Eivor. She’s one of my favorite singers so it’s a surprise it took me this long to write something inspired by her music.  
> [Listen to Hands here](https://youtu.be/dDdswpLAW9A)

I know that Dark is Damien- I don't know how much of him carried over, but I knew, I _know_ that he is in there somewhere. It's harder to tell myself that when I face Dark, seeing so little of Damien's warmth. His face is cold, drawn in a scowl- Damien got angry and scowled, sure, but never at _me_. My heart breaks every time Dark looks at me like that as if I wasn't worth his time. As if I didn't mean anything to him.

I was reminded of my first fight with Damien, how he had decided we couldn't be open about our relationship, how I cried when he described our love as improper. I knew he was irritated that I was being irrational and refusing to see his side, but he didn't grow angry at my tears. He drew me close, holding me tightly as he reassured me. 

"You own my heart, I love you more than I ever thought to be possible," he muttered, cupping my face as he pulled back, "But, we have to consider our careers. If our relationship comes out, then one or both of us could be forced out of office," 

"I know, Dames. It still hurts," he smiled sadly at me, deep brown eyes meeting mine straight on.

"I know,"

There was none of that understanding in Dark now, his anger visible and rolling off of him in waves. I could nearly taste it; it was so overwhelming. I have yet to understand why he always takes his temper out on me, I was as much a victim to Mark's story shit as he was, but his monologues and rage were par for the course at this point. 

"You're distracted," he interrupts his monologue suddenly, raising a brow as he slightly tilts his head. In an instant, I'm a hundred years away, sighing deeply as I nuzzle into the warm chest in front of me.

"You're distracted," Damien says, voice low in his chest, still thick with sleep. His chest vibrates, I can feel him speak the same way I feel his heartbeat. I idly trace shapes on his chest, humming in acknowledgment. "What's on your mind at this early hour?"

"You, work, the usual things," I reply softly, not feeling like going into the details of it. I was stressed and busy, things that Damien already knew. We basically only had the chance to see each other as a couple while getting ready for bed or getting ready for work in the morning. We used to go on dates, get dinner, go on walks, but we didn't have the time for it lately. We could barely see each other when at work, and even then, there wasn't time for small talk. It was just "Hello, deal with this business, have a nice day," before moving onto the next thing.

"We'll have a break soon, the holidays are coming up," he reassures, breath fanning over my cheek before he leans in to give me a kiss. We have to get up soon, and both of us know it, but for now, it's warm, safe, and loving- neither of us feels very inclined to move.

Dark takes a step forward, my vision flickering with multiple images of him before he is whole again. "Don't try to deny it, you clearly haven't listened to a thing I've said,"

"Sure I have, it was something about how I'm being used and manipulated and should trust you instead of Mark," I hadn't been listening at all, but I've heard Dark monologue often enough to hit the usual beats.

"You're guessing,"

"But I'm right,"

He sighs deeply, adjusting his tie. "There's not much a point to all this if you aren't going to listen,"

I panic slightly as the edges of my vision begin to pull, the telltale sign that Dark is about to boot me from the void to wherever he had pulled me in from.

"Dark, please, wait!" I snap, genuine panic in my voice. I don't want to let him go this time, continuing to pretend he's just an inconvenience that pulled me from an exciting adventure with Mark. My heart aches for him more than ever before, and if he were to just _leave me, **again**_ , I feel like I might die. My head aches as he suddenly snaps back into my normal view; I lose my balance and collapse. In another lifetime, he would have rushed to my side to check on me, now he just watched, brow furrowed as my head reoriented itself to the void.

"What is it?" He tries to keep his voice even and detached, but I know he's curious. If he wasn't, I'd be back in the regular world by now.

"I need you," I admit, tears building in my eyes. It hurt every time I saw Dark, knowing that I'd have to give him up again when I wanted nothing more than to stay by his side. I knew it was pathetic, on my knees, crying as I finally admitted what I had been feeling. "I need you to love me like you used to,"

When Damien held me, it was like the world didn't exist, like it was just the two of us. I melted at his touch, begging him to drive me to pieces, and we could never get enough of each other, always coming back again and again. And he held me like he had never known love before, like I was the only thing he cared about, and he told me he would always be mine. It was always warm, sometimes our passion burned so intensely that it hurt, but mostly it was like being at home, a warm drink in your hand as you curled up by the fire. 

"That wasn't me," Dark says, voice low and dangerous. Part of me wonders if he could see into my head, watch all the memories I had, but the other part insists it's just a response to what I had said.

"I know you. It doesn't matter if you call yourself a different name, or how you look, I know it's you," I insist, and Dark scowls. It's easy to tell he's disgusted, probably thinking that my oh so human display of emotions is beneath him. "You're still the man I loved,"

"Love," Dark corrects, sounding insulted. 

"I love you more than anything," I say, voice soft as I prepare for Dark's outburst. An outburst never comes, and I look up to find Dark's face softened, eyes almost as warm as they used to be. 

"What can I do?" is not the response I was expecting, and I blink as I process the question. Dark's patience isn't infinite, and I rush out the first response I can think of.

"Hold me sweet, please," I nearly choke on the words, but in an instant I'm pulled onto my feet, wrapped in a tight hug. I cry freely, releasing all the built-up pain and longing I had been feeling. It's quiet other than my sobs- Dark doesn't speak, and there's no heartbeat to hear in his chest. I want to beg him to never leave me, say that there's nothing like his hands, but I don't dare disturb the moment. 

"My dear," Dark's voice is low and soft, and I feel it more than I hear it, "You know this can't be how our story goes," he pulls a hand through my hair, reassuring and gentle even as he breaks my heart all over again. 

I pull away slightly, a determined look in my eyes as I say, "Kiss me like we could be together," 

And he does, his lips soft against mine, body warm. I can't tell where Dark begins and my memories of Damien end, his touch familiar as if I've kissed him hundreds of times a century ago.

I'm reluctant as Dark breaks away, resting his forehead on mine, so close that his lips brush mine as he speaks. "We can't be doing this,"

"Pretend that we can," he groans slightly as we kiss again, more profound and more passionate than before. My lips will be red and swollen, but I can't bring myself to care about anything other than the taste and feel of Dark as he pulls me against him, our bodies flush. His hands nearly burn where they touch, digging into my back and my hair. 

_Never leave me_ , I think as loud as I can, just in case he can really hear inside my head. It's something I can never say out loud because I know Dark is right, that we have bigger parts to play, and we can't be doing this. 

He pulls away shortly, or maybe it's been minutes or hours. 

"You're my only love," Dark whispers.

"You've always been mine," I answer, clinging tightly to Dark, even though I know it's well past time to let go of him.

"And I'm sorry to say goodbye," he says, my vision shifting as he lets go and steps away from me. I clench my eyes shut as my view begins to double, triple, continuously multiplying as I'm pulled into a different reality. It's night, and I'm alone, with nothing but the memory of Dark on my lips. I won't be alone for long, my existence is tied to Mark, and I can't last too long without him appearing beside me. He'll have many questions when he sees me, but he certainly won't get any answers. 

"Hey!" I sigh at the shout, knowing that it's Mark coming to drag me back into his narrative. "I've been looking everywhere for you, I can't believe you missed the rendezvous time. We synchronize our watches for a reason," 

I let Mark ramble, as he always does, following him blindly, as I always do. He's the hero, I'm something complicated, and Dark is the villain that I'll never be able to reach. It doesn't matter, I'll play my part as best I can, but I'll always remember the warmth of his hands.


End file.
